It has been a rather dry spell for me… After serving in church for a couple of months, and also trying to show love to the unlovable, I feel drained and dry inside. Wrong attitudes started coming up within me, which was prideful, expectant and I forgot that God was the centre of my service. I lost the focus of service, which was for His glory.
And today, it made me humble and drove me to tears when I was reminded of His abounding grace. During class today, somehow the conversation and lesson geared to God’s grace touching our lives. Being the first to share, somehow the words that came out were the full testimony of my journey with God, and I shared it with full conviction. It amazed me that I did not even need to think hard about my testimony as I was sharing, and it made me recap God’s goodness to me all these years. I have not shared my full testimony with anyone before, thus it took a lot of openness, courage and humbleness to share about my past. It amazed me again at how far I have come from the 11-year-old girl who didn’t really believe in God. God is so real, and as my friends all shared, I was touched at how vulnerable and open they were to share their journey as well. Like me, they did not find the faith till much later in their teens, where they were facing trials. Many of them faced struggles during their walk, and they found God in the process. As they shared, some cried, and even the guys portrayed some emotion when they shared things that were painful to them. I felt hearts that were moved, and my mentor was also visibly tearing up as she listened to our stories. All of us had a different story, but all with the same amazing experience of God becoming real in our lives.
It’s awe-strking how we build each other up from our stories. In a few occasions, some of them approached me to thank me for the openness of sharing, and I realise more and more that God uses those past experiences to empathise and also guide those who are going though similar things. Maybe in the end, scars are blessings in disguise.
My heart was so full when I heard each and every one of their stories. Each of them was so powerful and real, and it showed me how special everyone is to God. God brought us through unique circumstances, such that all of us had a story to tell. It all boiled down to God seeing us and loving us even though we were so unworthy. And it touched my heart to see people being open and vulnerable, and I was so encouraged to be reminded of God’s love. Even in service, He will still bring out His glory through me when I serve FOR Him, and new challenges in service show me that I still need to rely on Him, and that I am doing it for Him. In failures and disappointments, maybe I will not see it now, but God would somehow bless someone in the process, and today I was reminded of that again.
Everyone was tasked to write out their testimonial once again, and I wrote it with peace and reflection in my mind. I thank God, and I am reminded of His abounding Grace.